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Weekly Inspirational Messages

Listen to What your Soul needs...It will tell you...

On Monday, January the 17th, is our daughterís birthday. Jayde would have been three. It is hard to believe that she has been gone that long. I find myself getting a bit quieter during this time in my soul. I like to stop and reflect...to stop and think about her. I like to do something to be with her even if she is not physically present with me.

Sage Sometimes I donít even know how to be on that day or what I need. So I wait. I listen. To see what seems to be important for my soul.

Two years ago, Dale seemed to be quite agitated on that day. It was a Saturday. He was diligently off to the office to catch up on some things... But, his soul just couldnít shake the strange feelings he had and his body was playing right along with it. He just kept dragging his feet. In fact, quite out of character he showed up at my office between appointments just to say Hi.

We went to a nearby coffee place and talked. When he actually stopped to listen to himself, he knew that what he needed was to send time with Jaydeís memory and with her spirit. So he spent the day securing the flowers at her grave, which previously had kept falling over. By the end of the day his soul felt so much better.

Sage Each year seems to be this way. We seem to need to be with this day, differently...even differently from each other. This is ok. The only thing that is important is that we pay attention to what our soul needs at that time.

I donít think that this is exclusive to birthdays and special occasions. To grieve well, one must be listening to the soul. Each day is different. Each day has a different need in the grieving process.

Pay close attention to your soul. Pay close attention to what it needs to be with and to heal from, in your grief journey this week. It will lead you to wholeness.

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BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS

Well here we are back into the swing of life without a swing in your heart and step. People are back to work. The excitement of the holidays is only evident in the few lights that are still up. Some are still celebrating...but most are back into regular everyday life.

Sage Do you sometimes just feel out of touch with all of this movement? Does your heart feel like it is standing still as you feel the pain of your losses? It can almost feel like the world is spinning by you and you are on a whole different ride. Here is the thing. You are. You are on a different ride. You are in a different place if you are hurting or grieving.

You may not be able to just get into things without some effort. Maybe you shouldn't. Maybe you need to give yourself the grace to just go the pace you need to go at. It is so important to honour your grieving place this year. Slowly allow yourself to step back into the dance of life, taking all the time you need to grieve your loss.

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Happy New Year???

It is pretty hard to think about having a "happy year" when one has lost someone they love so deeply. We just donít want to start the year without having them with us. Just as "Merry Christmas" felt so incongruent with life as it seems to be unfolding...so does having a "Happy New Year".

So how do we approach the New Year with grieving pain in our souls? The only thing that seems to be appropriate is to just "be" in our sadness and try not to force ourselves to feel anything we really donít feel.

Sage In fact I think that opening a new year in honesty is the best way to start a new year. Be with where you are at. Stay open in your grieving for the healing that is yours. Perhaps this New Year needs to begin in expectation of the void and also in expectation that healing will come to that void.

Dare to believe that this year there will be gifts of peace for your soul. Blessings, as you begin this year more empty in your soul than usual. Be gentle with yourself this year. Be honest and authentic about where you are really at and allow yourself to just BE there.

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MAYBE WE JUST DIDNíT NOTICE?

We sometimes think that comfort will never come our way into our grief. We feel so alone. Yet at times it is there...for me. I just havenít opened my eyes wide enough to notice. I am being held; the whole time by the healer of my soul. I have just been so hurting that I didnít notice it.

Sage Sometimes it is weeks, even months later that we begin to notice just how much we have been taken care of. As the new year approaches, we look forward and we look back. It is then that we can see the times that we have been carried.

And so you enter this new year...know that you will be carried...even when you donít notice it. Even when you feel the most alone, you are not alone after all.

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MAYBE WE JUST DIDNíT NOTICE?

We sometimes think that comfort will never come our way into our grief. We feel so alone. Yet at times it is there...for me. I just havenít opened my eyes wide enough to notice. I am being held; the whole time by the healer of my soul. I have just been so hurting that I didnít notice it.

Sage Sometimes it is weeks, even months later that we begin to notice just how much we have been taken care of. As the new year approaches, we look forward and we look back. It is then that we can see the times that we have been carried.

And so you enter this new year...know that you will be carried...even when you donít notice it. Even when you feel the most alone, you are not alone after all.

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STABLE GRACE

There is something about the stable. The grace in it all. The permission to be honest. To cut through all the trimmings and get down to the heart of the matter. This stable grace, I call it, gives me permission to be honest with my soul; to be honest with my grief. This stable grace, allows me to cry when I need to and even to laugh when it feels right.

Sage It allows me to close and breathe in deeply of my pain. It allows me to exhale my sorrow, releasing it into the world. This Christ child came to be real and honest. This Christ child came to show me that he comes into my normal, painful world to be present with me. For my grief that is a true gift...there is no better Christmas gift to me; the presence of one who loves me more than any other.

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